Transition

Once upon a time, I changed into a different person overnight. What seemed to make sense in the beginning all in a sudden doesn’t. My concepts and perceptions changed.

It hit me when my 19 year-old brother told me during an argument: You won’t understand, you are not one of us. You have forgotten what adolescence is all about.

All in a sudden it occurred to me that I have migrated to the “other side”, the Land of Logic, Conformity, Accordance and Apposition. When did the journey start?

Where was your transition zone? Have you realized already it had long gone?

Chickens and such

I have this idea in mind of drawing my own blogger template, convert them to jpeg and voila, my own template creation.

How to do it? I have no idea. Just have some ideas and illustrations of chickens in their different facets. No knowledge of technology. Any advice?

I won't be able to write stuff for a week, only have time to browse your blogs. I need to concentrate my gray cells on my final year project, which deserves my absolute devotion and creativity. There are many, many drawings that I need to produce in 7 days' span!

Any suggestions and lessons on how to produce my own template is welcome!

(I won't pay, though)

My idea of Heaven

Heaven is everything that Hell isn't. Rivers never run dry, happiness is the norm, there is no suffering.

But I think we will freeze ourselves dead there..

(you still wanna go there?)

ShopCity®, where walking suck big time

I am sad to announce that I have lost my most favourite pair of slippers to the big disease called exhaustion. She must have been too exhausted having accompanied to most crappy of places, and its time to depart to the big gig in the sky. I shouldn't have played favourites with her I guess too much fun is deteriorating.

So I went to a local mall to get myself a same pair of sandals. The mall was so damn huge and shops were so far apart that it was literally a pain in the butt. And bad news, too much walking in that damn place ruined the pair of sandals that I walked in.

Can you see the problem here? Shopping complexes are self-explanatory. They are complex.

A half day shopping in search of a replacement cost me another pair of sandals. Now I will need to get myself another two pairs of sandals. Tough luck.

So, I suggest that shops be grouped by their respective categories. Sports division, shoes and clothes (one area for ladies and another for guys), books, food etc.

Or better still, we should be able to DRIVE in a shopping complex. I will call my concept ShopCity®. The place will be SO big that it will be impossible for walking. Rent a buggy or drop dead.

At the moment, due to the huge influx of people into local malls, the average width of the shopfront space is at least 6 meters. That would be able to accommodate 2 buggies at the same time. If some people still choose to walk, I would allow only 2 meter lane for buggy traffic (its quite tight, I know), 2 meter lane as parking space and another 2 meter lane strictly for pedestrians. The parking lane can be used as well during peak hours and buggy parking will be shifted to atria spaces which will be dotted heavily all over ShopCity®.

In order to control traffic and avoid jams and accidents especially those affecting the pedestrians, traffic lights will be present at junctions spaced at certain intervals. One-way traffic only. Steps will be eliminated and ramps will be present for conveniences’ sake.

So when any of you have the chance to come to ShopCity®, do visit the concierge. I will be the successful entrepreneur behind the whole scheme renting out buggies for the pleasure of you shoppers. My other counters will be virtually at every entrance/exit points of ShopCity®. Rent one, there is no running away.

Laughter is not a drug

Ever felt lonely despite being in the midst of laughter?

Be a cop (minus the dog factor)

Personally I don't drive, but here are a few pointers on how to improve the way our traffic works and to reduce migraine symptoms so common with our drivers.

This is something that I have always wanted to do: Equip yourselves with 30"x30" corrugated boads (cheap and lighweight) and a permanent marker with at least 3mm diameter tip. Bring at least 20 boards with you, more if traffic at your place is outrageous. Or if you have unbelievably rude drivers around. Stack neatly on seat. Whenever you see a dumbass stopping inside a yellow box, jumping some very painfuly long queues or whizzing past (anything that is irritating), let the game begin.

Prepare marker pens and start writing. Remarks must be kept simple and straighforward. Not more than 8 words per cardboard if possible. Dumbasses can't read traffic lights, let alone your lengthy messages. So, for the benefit of all, keep them short and sweet. And don't forget to write in small letters, as capital letters need more effort and eye-strain to read. Font size? 40-50mm in height would be sufficient.

What's next? Flash them with your message. It's legal.

Don't forget to add a splash of sarcasm too! Dont go overboard though, you DON'T want to get into trouble. You will never know when you will bump into a psychotic jailbird on parole.

Whenever someone stops inside a yelow box blocking your way, give him/her a nice "Wow! It's a yellow box" or "Thanks for blocking me". When someone whizzes past you (with deafening modified-exhaust turbo sound pollution), give him a "Was that a cop?" or "where's your bumper?".

That would make my day.

As I write this, I think a getting a whiteboard and non-permanent markers are more economical in the long run and hassle-free.

Remember, don't die laughing in the car.

In another sense, blowing kisses to the neighbouring car during a traffic jam works well too to repel annoying dumbasses. This is strictly for the guys.

Girls, this is a great tool for harmless flirting! Write away and flash the cute guy on the bike.

Traffic jams can be more bearable if you have something to eat to while away the time.. so why not come out from your car and have a little picnic? I bet someone will make it big in the news the very next day!

Relax, people!!! Life is meant to be enjoyed.

Mozzie attack

Dear all,

You MUST click on this!

I have in total killed 1,251,368 mosquitos in 15 minutes. can you break my record?